Everything about him screamed your future.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
