Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
