They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
