Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
