Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
