Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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