it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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