doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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