I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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