My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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