Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
