is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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