your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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