used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
