it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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