I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
