His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
