I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
