when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
