2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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