haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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