Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
