I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize