You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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