Dual....:-)
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
