He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
