if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
