Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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