and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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