So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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