if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
