I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
