the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
