i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
