I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
