And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
