with your own penis?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
