She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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