I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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