Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
