There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
