Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
