oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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