I'm going to jail i love you
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
