Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
