Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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