reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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