You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This house was built for laser tag.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
