Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
