I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
