That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
